aQlog
1. At lunch time, sit in my parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
3. Finish all my sentences with ‘In accordance with the prophecy’.
4. Order a diet water whenever I go out to eat, with a serious face.
5. Specify that my drive-through order is ‘To go’.
6. Put mosquito netting around my work area and play tropical sounds all day.
7. Five days in advance, tell my friends I can’t attend their party because I am not in the mood.
8. When my money comes out the ATM, scream ‘I won! I won!’
9. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling ‘Run for your lives! They’re loose!’
10. Tell my children over dinner, ‘Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.’
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